TEACHING

Daryl Wood

(Daryl is a fivefold teacher on the Kingdomquest apostolic team.)

THE BLESSING IN REJECTION & BETRAYAL

I experienced a peculiar sense of delight yesterday while watching my youngest daughter grimace in pain as she completed a cross-country training run.  Amanda had suffered from indigestion throughout the day, and I would have thought nothing of it if she had decided that she was not up to running.  Yet, her choice was to press through considerable discomfort and complete her pre-selected one and a half mile course over the hilly, southern Ohio countryside.  I remembered well my own cross-country training while in high school, and the ache and sweat that I endured while treading a similar path.  Still, my happiness was only secondarily tied to the fact that she was following in my footsteps.  What brought me the greatest pleasure was the awareness that she was maturing into a young woman who valued her goals of personal growth more than avoidance of suffering.  

Yes, pain is part of the package.  Still, it is one thing for a Christian to offer a sing-song quote of Romans 8:28, and quite another for him to grasp the concept contained therein as an experiential reality.

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.  But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing (James 1: 3, 4, NKJV).

While at some level most can appreciate that suffering is part of God’s program of training and perfecting us into everything He has destined us to be, all of us at one time or another have been guilty of kicking and screaming in our best efforts to resist this most needed process.  Nowhere is this more evident than in the arena of rejection and betrayal.  Yet, as the Author of our salvation blazed the trail before us, rejection and betrayal served as key ingredients in His development.  Should we expect less than this as we trod the same path?

For it was fitting for Him, for whom are all things and by whom are all things, in bringing many sons to glory, to make the author of their salvation perfect through sufferings (Heb. 2:10, NKJV).

He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him.  He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him (John 1: 10, 11, NKJV).

He is despised and rejected by men,

A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief,

And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him;

He was despised, and we did not esteem Him (Is. 53:3, NKJV).

Now His betrayer had given them a sign, saying, “Whomever I kiss, He is the One; seize Him.”  Then immediately he went up to Jesus and said, “Greetings, Rabbi!”  And Jesus said to him, “Friend, why have you come?”  Then they came and laid hands on Jesus and took Him (Matt. 26: 48-50, NKJV).

Wounded in the House of One’s Friends

Few things can be more painful for a believer than to experience being deeply wounded—through no fault or responsibility of his own—in the house of his friends (Zech. 13:6).  Add outright betrayal as the motivation behind the damage, and the sting can seem unbearable.  Yet, pressing through such suffering as one lays hold of God’s consolation and grace provides an unmatched occasion for growth in the love of Christ.  Choosing to release the “right” to remain angry or to become bitter, and, as appropriate, forgiving the debt and seeking the good of the offender are an indispensible part of every saint’s character development.  Indeed, these faith actions perfect and complete a son of God in a way that cannot be otherwise achieved.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’  But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.  For if you love those who love you, what reward have you?  Do not even the tax collectors do the same?  And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others?  Do not even the tax collectors do so?  Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect (Matt. 5: 43-48, NKJV).”

The separation between a general “love” that all of mankind would seem to experience and value, and the genuine, perfect love of God comes down to this:  With the latter there is a propensity to extend love even to those evil, hateful beings who have been the source of one’s great personal suffering; this is starkly absent in the former.  The grace necessary for this most unnatural response simply cannot be counterfeited by a religious spirit.  In many contexts love can be feigned, but not in this one.  Without a substantial revelation of the love of Christ, it simply will not happen.  This makes love for one’s enemies an identifying hallmark for those who live for Christ.

The agony is compounded when those whom we have trusted as a part of our spiritual family are found to be our enemies.  As ironic as this can seem, it is exactly what Jesus promised:

“You will be betrayed even by parents and brothers, relatives and friends; and they will send some of you to your death (Luke 21:16, NKJV).”

“. . . and A MAN'S ENEMIES WILL BE THE MEMBERS OF HIS HOUSEHOLD (Matt. 10:36, NASB).

It should therefore come as no surprise when the bulk of the relational hurt that a believer experiences comes from within the church.  Instead of marveling when he is tried in this way, he should recognize the fact that this is both commonplace and necessary.  Instead of shrinking back from further involvement with others in the body of Christ by using the excuse, “I was hurt,” one should embrace the Lord in it—both for his healing and his maturation, as well as for that of others.

What Goes Around Comes Around

Remarkably, our memories can be short when it comes to the rejection, or even the betrayal, that we have heaped upon others.  The Scriptures are replete with life examples where the principle of reaping and sowing is strikingly specific in its display.

David brazenly violated the sanctity of family and took the life of an innocent man.  While he repented of his sins and was forgiven, he, nevertheless, paid a life sentence of familial destruction that included rape, incest, murder, and even an assassination attempt upon his own life, all from the hands of his own offspring.

Ananias was perplexed at God’s call for him to go and minister restoration of sight to Saul, the great persecutor of the church.

Then Ananias answered, “Lord, I have heard from many about this man, how much harm he has done to Your saints in Jerusalem.  And here he has authority from the chief priests to bind all who call on Your name.”  But the Lord said to him, “Go, for he is a chosen vessel of Mine to bear My name before Gentiles, kings, and the children of Israel.  For I will show him how many things he must suffer for my name’s sake (Acts 9:13-16, NKJV).”

Certainly, one need not be an administrator of rejection in order to receive it from the hand of others.  Still, those who live by the sword of rejection are destined to die by the same.  Therefore, experiencing it provides an excellent pause for self-examination in this regard.     

‘Round the Mountain Again

For anyone who has recently failed the test of seeking the good of his enemies, he need not lament too long.  A new chance to get it right will be forthcoming!  In fact, if everyone who sought our hurt was instantly removed from the earth, a brand new crop of detractors would, without a doubt, spring up to replace them.  Jesus said that it is impossible that no offenses come our way (Luke 17:1).

Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.

“Therefore if your enemy hungers, feed him;

If he thirsts, give him a drink;

For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good (Rom. 12: 19-21, NKJV).

Without attempting to get into the detailed parameters of application for this principle in God’s Word, suffice it to say that our predisposition should be to bless those who are our adversaries.  Longsuffering, an aspect of the fruit of the Spirit, means to suffer long on behalf of others.  Without adequate occasion to exercise this virtue, it can never be cultivated.  Are there limitations as to the particulars of how, when, and how far we are to go in the practice of longsuffering?  I believe so.  The Holy Spirit gives guidance in these matters.  That said, those who have been touched by the love of Christ are required to reach out to others with the same spirit of forgiveness that He extends to us.

Being reviled, we bless; being persecuted, we endure it; being defamed, we entreat (1 Cor. 4: 12b-13a, NKJV).

Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake.  For when I am weak, then I am strong (2 Cor. 12:10, NKJV).

Returning to the theme of my daughter’s athletic training, she is preparing for, among other competitive matches, Ironman Mountain—a local “graveyard” for cross-country runners, due to its steep, long, and intimidating incline.  She is learning that the pain she endures now is an essential part of her growth as she continues to develop as a winner.  Her heart brings great joy to her daddy.  Certainly the same can be said of Papa, as he watches his children press through the pain of tattered relationships to embrace the blessing in rejection and betrayal.